Hi Is This Normal,

I am happily married and we were trying to have a baby, so it wasn’t by accident that we’re pregnant. We’re so excited but nervous, and now sometimes he and I both wish we had more time alone together before we gained an addition to our family. Is this normal?

Dear Too Early,

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: no matter how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, the nerves show up at pretty much the exact same time as that plus sign or that other line or the word “Pregnant” on those pee sticks. Nerves. Fear. Doubt. Those are all completely normal reactions to finding out you’re going to be a parent. Or you can react in the same way myself and millions of others have, and just sort of stare at the test and mutter, “ohshitohshitohshit” over and over again for eleven minutes. Also a completely normal reaction! It’s fine, it all worked out.

You and your husband still have plenty of time alone before your new family member makes its debut. Luckily, humans gestate for what feels like 14 years. But I totally get what you’re feeling, and I can relate 100%. If we’re being honest, that’s a common concern no matter how long you’ve been married! It’s hard to imagine what life will be like after the baby comes, and it’s impossible to prepare. Try not to focus on all the things you think you and your husband will be missing out on, and instead picture all the ways you’re going to grow together. It’s an insanely exciting and intimate experience, creating a life with someone.

Makes the most of the time you have now, before the baby comes. Take little trips together, embrace the romance and intimacy of your young marriage. But don’t think that your days of being husband and wife are over just because you’re having a baby! It’s so important that the two of you carve out time for yourselves and each other, because I won’t lie, the first few months of parenthood are … rough. You’ll both be tested in ways you never knew possible, as will your marriage. But this isn’t the end, not by any means. Your alone time might look a little different for a while, but you know what? For a solid 2 months, that baby won’t even know who you are. So really, it’ll be the two of you for some time still!

Your Party of Two Days Aren’t Over Yet,

Is This Normal

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