5 Types of Parents You’ll Meet This Holiday Season

'Tis the season for parents to *really* find out who they become when they go holiday shopping (or don't).

It’s the moooooost wonderful tiiiiiiime of the yearrrrrr! We’ve got, like, three major holidays upon us, so there are gift lists flying about like the mailroom in ‘Elf’. It’s the time of year when parents *really* find out what they (and their bank accounts) are made of, and when kids put everything they’ve ever wanted in their short little lives on their wishlists. It’s also the time of year when we come face to face with the type of gifting parent we’ve become, and this head-on collision can be a tough pill to swallow. Self-control? Never met her. When it comes to giving gifts to children, particularly around this time of year, chances are you’ll see (or embody) one of these types of gifting parents. No judgment from us at all, we’re a little bit of all of them, tbh. 

1. The List Clearer

If it’s on the list, it’s going to be wrapped and opened this holiday season. The Clearer isn’t interested in trying to figure out what takes priority on a kid’s wishlist. There are no ranking requests for this parent. They go big or go home, and if there is ever a time of year for kids to believe in magic and get whatever their hearts desire, it’s the holiday season. It works well for the Clearer’s family, but TBD on how it goes when the kids catch on and start asking for ponies and trips to Disney World

2. The Planner

You know where you won’t see the Planner this holiday season? Anywhere near a store or mall. And you know why? Because they compiled a list of gifts for their kids at the beginning of the year and have been completely done with holiday shopping since July. If you open their Christmas 2022 spreadsheet (because they 100% have one), it’d be nothing but green checks as far as the eye can see. Gifts are sorted, wrapped, and tagged before the tree is even up on December 1. Their foresight is really impressive, we will admit. So what if their kids’ style and interests changed between the beginning and end of the year? We all have to make sacrifices, and not having to do any holiday shopping between November and December makes it totally worth it. 

3. The Gifting Trend Follower

Last year, it was ‘want, need, wear, read’. Year before, each kid got one gift that started with each letter of their name. This year, they’re doing experiences in lieu of toys or clothes. The Trend Follower likes to change things up depending on which way the gifting style wind is blowing in a particular year. Sure, there may be some disappointed kiddos come holiday morning – it’s hard to get a five-year old to understand that the toy they’ve been wanting for months wasn’t possible since it starts with an A and their name doesn’t have an A in it. But if the trend forecasts hold, they may be in luck next holiday season!

4. The Procrastinator

Are we T-7 days until the start of Hanukkah and less than two weeks from Christmas morning? Yes, we are. Has the Procrastinator even bothered to peek at the lists their kids submitted eight weeks ago? That would be an unsurprising no. Every year, without fail, Procrastinator finds themselves tearing through the aisles of Target and obsessively watching the tracking info on no less than 14 separate packages with approximately 48 hours until opening. Why, you may ask? Well, because they didn’t bother to start shopping until the days of December hit double digits. It doesn’t matter that the holidays are at the same damn time every single year – Procrastinator just cannot operate without the crushing pressure of having to complete all shopping and wrapping in three days, tops. Somehow, they always seem to pull it off…even if it is more undies and Slim Jims in their stocking. 

5. The Psychic

The Psychic doesn’t even ask their kids for a wishlist, they don’t need one. Psychic has been meticulously compiling their own list of every single thing their kids have liked, loved, asked or talked about in the past year. Psychic pays attention to the tiniest of details that would slip by most people. For instance, their kid says their favorite color is red, but Psychic happens to pick up on a slight change in the light in their eyes when they see something yellow. It’s the little things, you know? The verrrrrrrry little things. Psychic prides themself on being able to predict what their gift recipients really want, even if they haven’t said it, and is very rarely wrong. A few well-placed and obvious hints later, and they know exactly what is in the boxes with their name on them. 

So, honesty gutcheck: which type of gifting parent are you? Are you clearing the list and asking questions later? Filling up the 2023 calendar instead of filling the space under the tree? Or are you going to be following the newest gifting trend this holiday season? Tag yourselves! Don’t be shy, this is a safe space.


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