Parenting is a journey of personal beliefs, values and experience. When it comes to mealtime, it can be tricky trying to set boundaries and goals for your own family around the table. The table is typically the space where differences may surface and it can be even trickier trying to navigate and be around someone else’s decisions, especially when it conflicts with your own. Parents often ask me what they should do if they are in a situation if this happens, and here’s what I tell them: 

One common scenario is, you’ve decided that your kids can only have dessert after meals and the friend you’re having dinner with lets their kids have dessert at the same time as the meal. While there can be pros and cons to both approaches, the hardest part often is knowing what to do in that moment. My advice is to do what you feel most comfortable with and know that it does not negate your normal routine.

Some parents are most comfortable sticking to their normal boundaries and routine. Others prefer to be flexible in these one-off type situations. Whatever decision is made, I recommend talking to your child after and saying, “We did xyz in that situation, but normally and at home, we do this…”. This helps to reinforce that we have a norm “for our family” and that we will always revert back to that norm. 

Another tip is to empower your children to use their own communication skills. Teaching your child that it’s okay to speak up around the table can be crucial. This can be for small things, “We normally have bread with dinner. I wonder if you have any bread too, please?” Or for the more important things, such as voicing a food allergy.

At the end of the day, I believe that all parents are trying to do what is best for their family, and since all families are different, it’s inevitable that our decisions around the table will differ at times.