Mara Martin has become a bit of a legend. When she walked the 2018 Sports Illustrated Swim runway show while breastfeeding her then five-month old daughter, Aria, the news spread through circles that seldom cross. The mommy groups, the fashion world, and the Miami social scene all suddenly had something in common: Mara. The mom who made some noise without saying a single word.

When Mara Martin walked down that runway, she normalized what millions of women do behind closed doors every day.

So, when we were given the opportunity to speak with this glass-ceiling shatterer, we jumped at the chance – safe to say, we were not disappointed. Mara was so honestly pro-moms and authentic that we probably could have sat with her all day and then some.

Raising The Next Change-Maker

As soon as that positive pregnancy result appears the debate begins—will it be a boy or a girl? At the end of the day, we know it doesn’t matter. Whatever little bundle appears will make anyone’s heart immediately melt. But until the moment the baby arrives, almost everyone has a preference.

“I hate to admit this, but I am a tomboy and I always wanted a boy. But now that I have a girl? Oh my gosh! Especially now in this day and age. Girls are the future. Especially if we teach  them to love themselves and be powerful and that they can do anything. There’s nothing a girl can’t do that a little boy can do. They should be able to chase their dreams.”

Mara Martin would know, she’s changing what it means to be a successful woman… “This fight is so relevant right now. I can’t wait to see what her generation is doing when they’re my age. I think it’s going to be completely different.”

“These little girls are going to be the ones benefiting from the work that we put in for them.  It will be really cool to watch.”

A Perfectionist She Is Not

A lot of mothers we meet with share that one of their biggest day-to-day changes post-baby is their newfound Type A scheduling and routines. Mara is not one of those mothers.

“I’m all over the place. I have no organization skills. Not before my baby, not now. Honestly, I had to really pull it together. When you have a baby you have to have some sort of structure in what you want to teach them or what you want to do throughout the day.”

This speaks to us at Is This Normal. We know that organization is not everyone’s strong suit and when three meals a day, nap time, diaper changes and so much more need to fall into a semblance of a routine, it can truly be a struggle. 

“I feel like she’s really taught me how to be a little more caring about details. Before I was just living in the moment, I’d have lunch at 5:00, no big deal. It’s just not like that anymore.”

So… I Hate My Husband

We can honestly say that one of the top messages and comments we get involve relationships. It’s no secret that the dynamics between partners change when a child is brought home, but many people are unprepared for how extreme those changes are. Mara was no different.

In the early moments of baby’s arrival, Mara found herself asking “‘Why do I hate my husband? Am I the only one that feels this way?’ Our relationships change completely.” 

“I literally thought it was going to be this picture perfect scenario. Like these pictures I see – even in my childhood – of like, all of us in the hospital bed, smiling,” she confesses. Though she only hated her husband momentarily, she says they’re continuing to find their new balance with a baby in the mix. 

“From day one to day now, I still feel like we haven’t found our groove yet. I realized it’s okay though. You’re literally adding in a person and a job into your lives that you’ve never experienced before. We’re still trying to figure it out.”

Reaching out to the social network of mommy groups and text chats during her lowest relationship moments helped her realize her scenario was not unusual. She learned that the rollercoaster of emotions that come along with baby are completely normal. 

She’d read some of the other posts and say “‘Okay, they hated their husbands for a whole year…I only did it for a day, so it’s okay.” And maybe intense emotional swings don’t happen to you, but for the people that do, just having a conversation in an open community, is really beneficial. Thankfully, my husband is super supportive. He knows it’s going to be tough.”  

Mara’s relatable approach to motherhood and relationship realities reminded us that we can still  be a boss without being “perfect” all the time. We left inspired to accept what comes, just like Mara.