Dear Voters, 

Let’s cut to the chase: the current system isn’t working and I’m the only one who can fix it. Sure, you’ve got your taxes and your health insurance, but where’s the mandatory daily ice cream break? Where’s the dedicated hour for scribbling on the walls? It’s time for a revolution — a sticky, crumb-covered revolution. I’m not here to promise you a Blippi meet and greet. I’m here to promise you something much better: a world where your biggest decisions are choosing between chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin, and pants are optional — just like vegetables. Here’s what I’m bringing to the table, you know, the small one in front of the couch:

Snacks, On-Demand

The idea that snacks should only be offered at a designated time is an outdated relic of a bygone era. Under my administration, the only limit on snack consumption is the size of your hands and how much you can shove in your mouth all at once. We’ll establish Snack Dispensaries in every room — yes, especially the bathroom. Snacks in the tub are the future of relaxation.

Bedtime? Let’s Call It “Negotiation Time”

The current regime’s hard stance on bedtimes is nothing short of draconian. My policy? Bedtime is a suggestion, not a rule. Negotiations will be conducted nightly, with extra points awarded for creativity. Need water? Sure. Need to hear Llama Llama Red Pajama for the fourth time? Absolutely. Need to line up every stuffed animal in the house before you can sleep? That’s just good governance.

Olympic Puddle Jumping

The world watches in awe as athletes perform superhuman feats. But have they seen a toddler take on a puddle in crocs?! I propose the inclusion of puddle jumping in the next Olympics. Training facilities will be installed in every park and playground. And remember, there’s no such thing as too much mud — only too little commitment.

The New National Curriculum

It’s time to modernize education. I propose a curriculum centered entirely around TV. Think about it: Sesame Street teaches numbers, Bluey teaches emotional intelligence, and Paw Patrol teaches the importance of teamwork and, oddly enough, municipal services. The grown-ups have been doing it wrong — no more lectures, only episodes.

Pants Are the Enemy of Freedom

Pants are a daily oppression that we’ve come to accept. But why? What’s so great about being “fully dressed”? My policy is simple: Pants shall be optional, and diaper changes shall be swift. You can tell a lot about a society by how it treats its toddlers, and my society will be free, unrestricted, and a little bit naked.

The Vegetable Prohibition Act

Let’s get one thing straight: vegetables are not welcome here. I’m talking about a full-on ban—no broccoli, no peas, and if there’s even a whisper of spinach on my plate, it’s game over. I’ll turn that plate upside down so fast you’ll think gravity took a day off.

Fellow toddlers, it’s time to reclaim our world. No more being told “no” when the answer should clearly be “yes.” No more getting dragged to bed when there’s clearly more playing to be done. Vote for me, and together we’ll create a world where every day is a snow day, every meal is dessert, and every adult has to answer the one true question: Why not?

Sincerely, 

Your Future Leader (After Naptime)