In 2020, Jess and I both welcomed baby girls into the world—each born with Down syndrome. At this time, we anticipated challenges with managing our own feelings of stress and anxiety. We thought the transition to disability parenting would make it difficult for us to use the coping tools we’d learned before giving birth. While stress and anxiety still come in waves as we raise our daughters, we’ve learned to get creative in staying ahead of these emotions rather than letting them overwhelm us. Here are some of the tools that we have learned over the years that have allowed us to nurture our mental health:
- Appreciate Mindfulness
Discover a mindfulness practice that resonates with you and make it a regular part of your routine. Not everyone is built for traditional meditation—sitting quietly with an empty mind doesn’t come naturally to most of us. But mindfulness can look different for everyone. Whether it’s guided meditations, breathing exercises, journaling, or focusing on gratitude, these practices help quiet the mental noise and allow you to connect with yourself.
- Practice Gratitude for the Tasks that We “Get to Do”, not “Have to Do”
Turn everyday tasks into moments of enjoyment. It might sound silly to consider something like folding laundry as part of a self-care routine. But, the truth is, these chores need to be done—and putting them off only gives you more things to stress about. You can enhance these mundane tasks by listening to your favorite podcast to give yourself a much needed break while completing a pretty mindless task. Trust us, finding little ways to elevate daily activities can make them feel much less like work.
- Endorphins, Endorphins, Endorphins!
Move your body, but keep it low-pressure! It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking exercise has to be super intense—an hour a day, five days a week—or it doesn’t count. This “all or nothing” mindset can leave you feeling discouraged by turning something meant to relieve stress into a source of it. A long walk in the morning or in the early evening can satisfy that daily movement itch. If you’re looking to sweat it out, maybe try weight training, hot yoga or Pilates. By listening to your body, you save time weeding out exercises that don’t leave you feeling rewarded for the hard work you just put in.
- Make a Weekly Game Plan
Take time on the weekends to stay ahead of the stress that comes from the Monday to Friday grind. Every Sunday, sit down and map out the week. Plan for the mornings, confirm carpools, coordinate with a partner on any schedule overlaps, and refresh the to-do list. This process doesn’t have to take more than an hour, but it can save a lot of stress and time throughout the week. Use a phone calendar, notes app, or even pen and paper. Every few weeks, try a “brain dump”—writing down everything from appointments to set up, bills to pay, work tasks, school obligations, and personal items. If there’s an item that might wake you up at 3 a.m., it goes on the list. Tackle things daily or weekly. While the list may feel overwhelming, having everything written down provides peace of mind and helps prevent things from slipping through the cracks.
- Stay Connected with Those Who Fill Your Cup
Find your people within all your communities. As parents, we often belong to multiple groups—work, school, sports, and more. It’s so important to find your people in each of these spaces and lean into those connections. Beyond the “it takes a village” mindset, being around people who understand what you’re going through can do wonders for your mental health. Surrounding yourself with those who can relate makes everything feel a little less overwhelming.
- It Never Hurts to Ask for Help
See what you can outsource. Is there something you can take off your plate in some way that could save you a few hours a week? Maybe you can simplify meals or get a break a couple nights a week with some prepared meals for your kiddos. Little Spoon offers junk-free, pre-packaged meals for babies and toddlers that are ready in minutes. Some of our favorites include the Mac and Three Cheese Plate with a Strawberry Banana Shake Smoothie!
- Take an Extra Moment to Reflect Inward
Check in with yourself. Every now and then, take a step back and do a quick life audit—see what’s working and what isn’t. While you can’t always eliminate stress, look for small tweaks that can make things a bit easier. Be honest with yourself about what’s bringing you joy and what’s not. Are you volunteering for every school event, thinking it’s what you want, when it’s actually adding to your stress? Maybe there are other ways to stay involved that feel lighter. Are you putting pressure on yourself to over-plan activities or parties? You and your child might enjoy simpler moments even more.
At the end of the day, being a parent comes with lots of twists and turns and it’s natural for it to feel stressful. It’s typical that we have anxious moments and hard times. The key is to not let these become debilitating times in our life. When these times creep up, take a deep breath, and see what you can do to manage or reduce these feelings.
You’ve got this!
